title: "How to Pray for Someone Who Hurt You (Even When It's Hard)" metadescription: "Forgiving someone who hurt you is one of the hardest things faith asks of us. Here's a practical, scripture-grounded guide to praying for people who have wronged you." targetkeyword: "how to pray for someone who hurt you" tags: ["forgiveness", "prayer for enemies", "healing prayer", "christian living", "letting go"] category: "Prayer Guidance" —

How to Pray for Someone Who Hurt You (Even When It's Hard)

Someone betrayed your trust. Or said something that cut deep. Or walked away and left a wound you're still carrying. And now you're sitting with a complicated question: Am I really supposed to pray for that person?

Yes. But nobody said it would be easy.

Praying for people who have hurt us is one of the most counterintuitive — and most transformative — practices in the Christian life. This guide is for anyone who wants to try it honestly, without pretending the hurt didn't happen.

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Why Pray for People Who Hurt You?

Let's start with the hard truth: Jesus was direct about this.

> "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." > — Matthew 5:44

This wasn't a suggestion. But notice what Jesus didn't say — he didn't say feel love for them right away, or pretend nothing happened. He said pray. The act of praying can begin even before the feeling of forgiveness arrives.

Prayer for people who have hurt us is less about them and more about what God does in us when we're willing to bring the situation to him honestly.

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Start Honest, Not Polished

You don't need to manufacture feelings you don't have. Some of the most powerful prayers begin with raw honesty:

"God, I don't want to pray for this person right now. I'm still angry. I'm still hurt. But I'm choosing to bring it to you anyway."

That's not a failure of faith — that's faith in action. The Psalms are full of prayers like this. David didn't clean up his emotions before praying; he brought his anger, his confusion, and his exhaustion directly to God.

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A Simple Framework for Praying for Someone Who Hurt You

Step 1: Name the Hurt

Don't spiritually bypass the pain. Bring it to God by name.

"Lord, what [person] did caused real damage. It affected my [trust / sense of safety / relationship / confidence]. I'm bringing that wound to you."

Step 2: Release the Need for Revenge

This doesn't mean the behavior was acceptable. It means you're handing the outcome to God.

> "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." > — Romans 12:19

"God, I let go of my need to see them punished or to make this right on my own. I trust your justice."

Step 3: Ask for Their Wellbeing (Even If You Don't Feel It)

This is the hardest part. Start small if you need to.

"I'm asking, even with a resistant heart, that you would work in [person's] life. That whatever drives the behavior that hurt me — their own pain, fear, brokenness — you would meet them there."

Step 4: Ask for Your Own Healing

Forgiving someone doesn't mean the wound heals overnight.

"Lord, heal what's broken in me from this. Protect my heart from bitterness. Help me move forward without carrying this into every relationship I have."

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What Forgiveness Is NOT

A common reason people resist praying for people who hurt them is a misunderstanding of what forgiveness requires.

• Forgiveness is not reconciliation. You can forgive someone and still have a boundary. You can pray for someone's wellbeing without letting them back into your life.
• Forgiveness is not saying it was okay. It wasn't okay. Forgiveness just means you're not letting their actions keep writing your story.
• Forgiveness is not a feeling you manufacture. It's a decision you make repeatedly, until one day you realize the grip has loosened.

> "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." > — Colossians 3:13

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A Ready-to-Use Prayer for Someone Who Hurt You

"God, I'm bringing [this person] to you, even though it's hard. You know what happened. You know how it affected me. I'm not pretending it didn't hurt — I'm trusting that you can work in both of us.

I release my need for control over how this resolves. I ask that you would do whatever work needs to happen in their life. I ask that you would heal what's been broken in mine.

Help me not to become bitter. Help me to move forward with an open heart. I trust that justice and healing are in your hands.

Amen."

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Use the Say a Little Prayer App for Guided Forgiveness Prayers

If you want more structured support, the Say a Little Prayer app includes guided prayers for forgiveness, healing from hurt, and releasing bitterness — all personalized to your situation.

Download Say a Little Prayer on the App Store — free to start, available on iPhone.

Or explore more prayer guides and resources at sayalittleprayer.app.

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The Long Game

Praying for people who have hurt us rarely resolves in one session. It's a practice — something you return to over days and weeks as you work toward genuine release.

But here's what consistently happens when people commit to it: the bitterness slowly loses its grip. Not because the hurt wasn't real, but because you've been bringing it somewhere bigger than yourself.

Start where you are. Pray the imperfect prayer. God can work with that.