Prayer for Enemies: The Hardest Prayer Jesus Asked Us to Pray

title: "Prayer for Enemies: The Hardest Prayer Jesus Asked Us to Pray" metadescription: "Praying for enemies is the most counterintuitive thing Jesus asked his followers to do — and possibly the most transformative. Here's how to actually do it." targetkeyword: "prayer for enemies" tags: ["prayer for enemies", "pray for enemies", "loving your enemies", "forgiveness prayer", "hard prayers"] category: "Prayer Guidance" —

No one disputes that this is hard. Praying for someone who has hurt you, wronged you, or actively works against you is one of the most counterintuitive commands in the entire Christian life.

But Jesus was direct about it:

> "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven." > — Matthew 5:44-45

This isn't a suggestion for the especially spiritually advanced. It's a core instruction. And the reason isn't primarily for their benefit — it's for yours.

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Why Praying for Enemies Works (In You)

When you pray for someone, something happens in you that's hard to explain until you've experienced it. The grip of bitterness — which is really just hatred with a PR problem — begins to loosen.

This is not the same as:

• Saying what they did was okay
• Reconciling with them
• Dropping appropriate boundaries
• Pretending you don't have legitimate grievances

It's a choice to release your right to be their enemy, and entrust the situation — and them — to God.

Psychologically, sustained anger at another person costs you far more than it costs them. The bitterness you carry affects your sleep, your health, your other relationships, and your capacity for joy. Praying for the person you're angry at isn't noble self-sacrifice — it's also genuinely in your own interest.

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The Hardest Cases

Some "enemies" are easy to categorize: the difficult coworker, the person who spread rumors, the family member who always starts something.

Others are harder: the abuser, the person who destroyed something you can't rebuild, someone whose actions had lasting consequences.

For those cases, this guide isn't asking you to feel warmth toward them. It's offering a path to pray for their wellbeing — even when that feels impossible — without requiring you to pretend the harm wasn't real.

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Ready-to-Use Prayers for Enemies

The Basic Prayer (When You Can Barely Mean It)

"God, I'm going to pray for [this person], even though I don't want to.

I'm not asking you to change how I feel right now. I'm making a choice to bring them to you anyway.

Do whatever work needs to happen in them. And do whatever work needs to happen in me so that I'm not defined by this anger.

Amen."

That's a real prayer. It doesn't require you to feel it yet.

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For Someone Who Hurt You

"God, [name] hurt me. You know what happened. You know the cost of it.

I'm not minimizing that. I'm also choosing not to let it be the defining thing in my life.

I'm asking you to work in [name] — in their life, in whatever drives the behavior that caused this. I'm releasing my hold on their outcome.

And I'm asking you to heal what's broken in me. Protect me from bitterness that would poison more of my life than this already has.

Amen."

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For Someone You're In Active Conflict With

"God, [name] and I are in conflict right now.

I believe I'm in the right in this situation. I may also be missing something. Give me the clarity to know the difference.

I'm asking for their wellbeing even while we're opposed. I'm asking for a resolution that's genuinely just. And I'm asking for whatever in me needs to change to get there.

Amen."

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For the Long-Term Enemy

"God, [name] and I have been at odds for a long time.

I don't know how to resolve this or whether resolution is even possible. I'm not asking you to force a reconciliation that isn't ready.

I'm asking you to hold both of us. Work in them. Work in me. And whatever outcome is genuinely right — I'm trusting you with it.

Amen."

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What Comes After

Most people who commit to praying for enemies report that the prayer changes them more than it changes the other person — at least initially. The bitterness softens. The obsessive replaying slows. The emotional energy tied up in the conflict becomes available for other things.

Sometimes the relationship changes too. Sometimes it doesn't. But the person doing the praying changes — and that matters independently of what happens to the other party.

> "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." > — Romans 12:21

Praying for an enemy is one of the most concrete ways to take that verse seriously.

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The Say a Little Prayer App

If you're working through forgiveness or trying to pray for a difficult person in your life, the Say a Little Prayer app can help you find the words — even when you can barely bring yourself to say them.

Download Say a Little Prayer free on the App Store

More at sayalittleprayer.app.

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This is the prayer that costs the most and often produces the most. Start where you are — even if where you are is "I don't want to do this." That honesty is enough to begin.